You know what I wish? I wish people would just be honest. Just the straight up, one hundred percent, in your face, rip you apart if you have to, heart shifting kind of truth. Rather than all these sugar coated hypocritical sayings just to make sure someones feelings don’t get hurt. I’m tired of all these mind bending games that spin you in a million circles like a dog chasing its own tail. Humans screw each other over, you know? It shouldn’t be like that. I wish we were creatures of truth, not creatures of habit. Sometimes i wish “mutual friends” didn’t exist, so that if you wanted to know something about someone, you go and ask that person. You don’t go to 3 different people to hear different twisted versions of the same fact. Just that you would only have the source. If you want to know if someone’s pissed at you, go ask them. If you want to know if someone loves you, go ask them. I don’t get it. I’m done with untruth.
And what if our words actually said what they meant. That’s too scary though. So for now, we’ll twist them into morphed concepts decorated here and there with a frilly flower, or maybe another metaphor that makes our soul feel differentiated. What if from day one we didn’t know what lies were or judgements for that matter. What if we just lived out our soul. Maybe we’d be somewhere in this life. But maybe not. I’m done with silence.
And what if leaving didn’t involve going. Maybe that way we would never have to go through these twisted digits of fuck ups and regret soon turned into remorse. Regret of unsaid words and never-executed plans. Maybe a lot more people would make more sense. Remorse of un-delivered words and never experienced plans. But we can’t do anything perfect, only our best. And that’s perfect sometimes. I’m done with going.
But every time I credit you, I discredit me. And I’m done with that too.